Well, it's been a couple of days since I blogged, so I'm not doing a great job with posting. But consistancy is the key, and that is what I'm shooting for.
I just wanted to write in and talk about how my weigh loss attempt is progressing.
I've been eating pretty well for three days now. Today, I wasn't great, but I was better than I am when I don't pay attention at all. Basically I'm eating a breakfast, watching my fat and processed white intake, and avoiding fried food. I get three checks for the week thus far. My portion control at night could definitely be better. I think I need to increase my calories at breakfast. I'm just not hungry in the morning! I am not one of those people who can eat only when they are hungry....because for most of the day I don't have much of an appetite. Especially if I'm busy. But come night time, I'm ready for carbs, carbs, and more carbs. I have to admit, I do feel like I am doing bettter about spreading my calories out and being more balanced. Three days into it, a lifetime to go.
As for excercise, I got up and moved on Sat, Mon,, and today. I really want to make sure I am excercisng at least 5 to 6 days a week. I'm going have to be better about getting enough sleep so that I'm rested to excercise and finding the time to fit it in. I am worth it. I have a good heart. I want it to stay that way.
All and all. Not a bad start. I really want to focus on being healthy and feeling good. And I feel like I'm doing it. Life is about to get crazy with job, school, moving, etc., etc., so I need to remind myself how important it is to keep focusing on my health. Move over Oprah.
Lynn's Law: practice makes permanence, not perfection.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Resolutions I Need to Keep
New year. New focus. Since all I really have going on right now is me, now is as good of time as any to really show myself some love.
Beginning tomorrow, I'm going to really focus on taking care of my health. I want to eat healthy and excercise at least five days a week. Even if I just go for a small walk, I want to keep my body moving. Yes, I'm doing this because I want to look better in jeans...but the older I get, my reasons for wanting to lose weight has moved from beyond a shallow place. I really do want a healthy heart and an able body. I want to feel strong, confident, and proud of my health. So here's to diet attempt 629, 472, or it might as well be. I'm not even gonna call this a diet. Just an attempt to be conscious of the foods I choose to put into my body on a regular bases and to move. In reading past blogs, I noticed that excercise truly does make me feel clearer headed.
I also want to get my financial situation in control. I haven't really worked that out yet, so that will be a blog yet to come.
I hope to find love in 2009. A good love. A recipricated love. I know this can't really be sought, it finds you, but I want to open my mind and heart to the possiblity. He is out there, isn't he?
I want to be neater and more organized. This causes me less chaos in the end. I want to spend more time with good friends and my adorable twins. And I want to take Ethan for more walks.
So here's to staying focused and showing a little self-love.
Lynn's Law: Love hurts.
Beginning tomorrow, I'm going to really focus on taking care of my health. I want to eat healthy and excercise at least five days a week. Even if I just go for a small walk, I want to keep my body moving. Yes, I'm doing this because I want to look better in jeans...but the older I get, my reasons for wanting to lose weight has moved from beyond a shallow place. I really do want a healthy heart and an able body. I want to feel strong, confident, and proud of my health. So here's to diet attempt 629, 472, or it might as well be. I'm not even gonna call this a diet. Just an attempt to be conscious of the foods I choose to put into my body on a regular bases and to move. In reading past blogs, I noticed that excercise truly does make me feel clearer headed.
I also want to get my financial situation in control. I haven't really worked that out yet, so that will be a blog yet to come.
I hope to find love in 2009. A good love. A recipricated love. I know this can't really be sought, it finds you, but I want to open my mind and heart to the possiblity. He is out there, isn't he?
I want to be neater and more organized. This causes me less chaos in the end. I want to spend more time with good friends and my adorable twins. And I want to take Ethan for more walks.
So here's to staying focused and showing a little self-love.
Lynn's Law: Love hurts.
Creep
Well, I was doing pretty good. I started talking and hanging out with a pretty cool guy. I put my relationship with Sean in a little more focus. I had a great trip to Maine and had an awesome time with old friends. My life was starting to feel occupied. I was down to thinking about Jermaine to only once a day. I really felt like I was making progress. Forgive and forget. Live and let live.....yada yada yada.
Then my friend (loose term) Sara called to tell me that she spent New Years with Jermaine and he brought a date. Some girl he's been talking to for about four months. And here he comes CREEPING back into my head. I was demolished. I felt sick to my stomach, unlovable, and really lost any vision of hope. Can someone explain to me how he can just drop me and pick right back up with someone new? Was I really all that clueless to what was going on between Jermaine and I? Damn him.
So the phone call leads to seeing him downtown. It was from a distance and completely accidental, but it still hurt like hell. That leads to me visiting his Myspace page (Okay, maybe I am a stalker?) and on his myspace page he has two songs from Anthony Hamilton clearly intended for me to hear. He always did like to send me messages through music.
So I'm feeling fucked up. I know he doesn't deserve me. I know I shouldn't love him. I know I shouldn't cry myself to sleep on Saturday nights. But I still do.
I am woman, hear me roar.
Lynn's Law: Beware of the Creep.
Then my friend (loose term) Sara called to tell me that she spent New Years with Jermaine and he brought a date. Some girl he's been talking to for about four months. And here he comes CREEPING back into my head. I was demolished. I felt sick to my stomach, unlovable, and really lost any vision of hope. Can someone explain to me how he can just drop me and pick right back up with someone new? Was I really all that clueless to what was going on between Jermaine and I? Damn him.
So the phone call leads to seeing him downtown. It was from a distance and completely accidental, but it still hurt like hell. That leads to me visiting his Myspace page (Okay, maybe I am a stalker?) and on his myspace page he has two songs from Anthony Hamilton clearly intended for me to hear. He always did like to send me messages through music.
So I'm feeling fucked up. I know he doesn't deserve me. I know I shouldn't love him. I know I shouldn't cry myself to sleep on Saturday nights. But I still do.
I am woman, hear me roar.
Lynn's Law: Beware of the Creep.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Four Agreements
Yes, I know it's been a long time since I entered the world of blog. I have been on hiatus from writing. I wish I could say the same for thinking. But I'm back now, and my one of my goals for the new year is to write more. So alas...here I go.
I've been rereading a book by Don Miguel Ruiz, called The Four Agreements. It is a book my brother recommended to me years ago. I connected with it then, when I was going through a major breakup with my ex boyfriend Shelby, and I find after all these years, I still connect with the basic philosophy. Actually, the philosophy isn't at all basic. It is deep with layers and layers of meaning, yet there is still a simpleness about it. Anyway, I won't talk the book. Anyone interested in world philosophy should definitely give it a read.
The four agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word 2. Don't take anything personally 3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best.
Such four simple principles....however the task of mastering these principles is very difficult.
I wish I was impeccable with my word. I do my best to speak with integrity and to say what I mean and mean what I say. But if I'm honest, I all to often fall short of this goal. I often tell lies as to not hurt others' feelings or to get out of obligations (responsibility). On more than one occasion, these lies have led to tangled webs. I always tell myself I'm going to improve on this, but I often fall back to the same practiced habit. I also use the power of word to speak ill of myself and others. The lies I tell myself, are the most damaging messages of all. This year, I vow to make an honest and intended effort to be impeccable with my word. The people who love me and who matter will always swallow the truth, and I have to let the people who can't, own it as their own issue. I'm also going to pay attention to the messages I tell myself. They always say..."the truth will set you free." Knowing who I am, and being honest about who I can be is probably the best gift I can give myself.
The second agreement is the one I struggle the most with. I take EVERYTHING personally. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I think it's personal. If a guy I like doesn't answer my phone call right away, I take it personal. If the bank charges me an overdraft fee, I take it personal. You get the point. The book proclaims that, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality and their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." How I so want to master this agreement. I would love to not take words and actions to heart. I imagine, you have to be very secure with yourself in order to truly master this principle. All I can say about this one is that I will take baby steps and do my best to try to apply this to my life. After all, I am only a work in progress :)
The next agreement is to not make assumptions. I feel that at the age of 33, I am getting better at this one. I ask the right questions and do my best to communicate clearly. I still do make assumptions, but I'm more aware of when I'm doing it and I can easily figure out that more communication is needed before I come to a conclusion. I think this is the agreement that I'm closest to getting right. I do my best not to judge. But I will say I also refuse to ignore the writing on the wall. This one is definitely a teetering act!
The last agreement is to always do your best. I think this is relative. My best one day, may not be my best another day. But I think always putting your best foot forward is the right way to go about living life. Do I always do it? Hell no. Do I think I should, ...of course. I am the classic under achiever. I like to believe that when it comes to people and things that really matter, I'm going to give it my all. But the hard question I need to ask is.....If I matter, why don't I give myself the best? See, I'm working on being impeccable with my word :)
So all this reflection to say that in 2009, I want to work on being a happier, healthier person. I want to recognize my blessings, surround myself with people who have similar beliefs and values, and improve in areas that need improving. I hope this year I am one year closer to being truly comfortable in my own skin and helping those I love feel comfortable in theirs.
Lynn's Law: Nothing is more important than keeping the agreements you make with yourself. 2009 is a good year to shine.
I've been rereading a book by Don Miguel Ruiz, called The Four Agreements. It is a book my brother recommended to me years ago. I connected with it then, when I was going through a major breakup with my ex boyfriend Shelby, and I find after all these years, I still connect with the basic philosophy. Actually, the philosophy isn't at all basic. It is deep with layers and layers of meaning, yet there is still a simpleness about it. Anyway, I won't talk the book. Anyone interested in world philosophy should definitely give it a read.
The four agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word 2. Don't take anything personally 3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best.
Such four simple principles....however the task of mastering these principles is very difficult.
I wish I was impeccable with my word. I do my best to speak with integrity and to say what I mean and mean what I say. But if I'm honest, I all to often fall short of this goal. I often tell lies as to not hurt others' feelings or to get out of obligations (responsibility). On more than one occasion, these lies have led to tangled webs. I always tell myself I'm going to improve on this, but I often fall back to the same practiced habit. I also use the power of word to speak ill of myself and others. The lies I tell myself, are the most damaging messages of all. This year, I vow to make an honest and intended effort to be impeccable with my word. The people who love me and who matter will always swallow the truth, and I have to let the people who can't, own it as their own issue. I'm also going to pay attention to the messages I tell myself. They always say..."the truth will set you free." Knowing who I am, and being honest about who I can be is probably the best gift I can give myself.
The second agreement is the one I struggle the most with. I take EVERYTHING personally. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I think it's personal. If a guy I like doesn't answer my phone call right away, I take it personal. If the bank charges me an overdraft fee, I take it personal. You get the point. The book proclaims that, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality and their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." How I so want to master this agreement. I would love to not take words and actions to heart. I imagine, you have to be very secure with yourself in order to truly master this principle. All I can say about this one is that I will take baby steps and do my best to try to apply this to my life. After all, I am only a work in progress :)
The next agreement is to not make assumptions. I feel that at the age of 33, I am getting better at this one. I ask the right questions and do my best to communicate clearly. I still do make assumptions, but I'm more aware of when I'm doing it and I can easily figure out that more communication is needed before I come to a conclusion. I think this is the agreement that I'm closest to getting right. I do my best not to judge. But I will say I also refuse to ignore the writing on the wall. This one is definitely a teetering act!
The last agreement is to always do your best. I think this is relative. My best one day, may not be my best another day. But I think always putting your best foot forward is the right way to go about living life. Do I always do it? Hell no. Do I think I should, ...of course. I am the classic under achiever. I like to believe that when it comes to people and things that really matter, I'm going to give it my all. But the hard question I need to ask is.....If I matter, why don't I give myself the best? See, I'm working on being impeccable with my word :)
So all this reflection to say that in 2009, I want to work on being a happier, healthier person. I want to recognize my blessings, surround myself with people who have similar beliefs and values, and improve in areas that need improving. I hope this year I am one year closer to being truly comfortable in my own skin and helping those I love feel comfortable in theirs.
Lynn's Law: Nothing is more important than keeping the agreements you make with yourself. 2009 is a good year to shine.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Pulse
I have been excercising lately, just going for walks at night, but I have to admit I feel better. A little more focused and positive. Nothing in my life has really changed, I just don't seem to be dwelling on the negative. I'm still single, still fat, still broke as hell, funding for my Masters has been cut, and Lost isn't coming on for a month. But, I'm okay :)
Lost 6 pounds last week
walked 2 miles last night
Sent out letters to family
Happiness: 5
Lost 6 pounds last week
walked 2 miles last night
Sent out letters to family
Happiness: 5
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Onward
+
I walked 1.5 miles
I am diligently counting points
I'm going to my GRE prep class because I made a committment to attend
I took my vitamins
I didn't spend any money today
I ignored Jermaine's text
-
My cousin still isn't well
I am not finished with my strategy project and it's due by tomorrow noon
I'm still really tired
Happiness rating: 3
I walked 1.5 miles
I am diligently counting points
I'm going to my GRE prep class because I made a committment to attend
I took my vitamins
I didn't spend any money today
I ignored Jermaine's text
-
My cousin still isn't well
I am not finished with my strategy project and it's due by tomorrow noon
I'm still really tired
Happiness rating: 3
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Small Things
I walked two miles today.
I kept my weight watchers points under 25.
I didn't spend any money.
I remembered to take my calcium and vitamin.
It's been two days since I've been in any contact with Jermaine.
Happiness rating: 2
I kept my weight watchers points under 25.
I didn't spend any money.
I remembered to take my calcium and vitamin.
It's been two days since I've been in any contact with Jermaine.
Happiness rating: 2
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