Creep

Well, I was doing pretty good. I started talking and hanging out with a pretty cool guy. I put my relationship with Sean in a little more focus. I had a great trip to Maine and had an awesome time with old friends. My life was starting to feel occupied. I was down to thinking about Jermaine to only once a day. I really felt like I was making progress. Forgive and forget. Live and let live.....yada yada yada.


Then my friend (loose term) Sara called to tell me that she spent New Years with Jermaine and he brought a date. Some girl he's been talking to for about four months. And here he comes CREEPING back into my head. I was demolished. I felt sick to my stomach, unlovable, and really lost any vision of hope. Can someone explain to me how he can just drop me and pick right back up with someone new? Was I really all that clueless to what was going on between Jermaine and I? Damn him.

So the phone call leads to seeing him downtown. It was from a distance and completely accidental, but it still hurt like hell. That leads to me visiting his Myspace page (Okay, maybe I am a stalker?) and on his myspace page he has two songs from Anthony Hamilton clearly intended for me to hear. He always did like to send me messages through music.

So I'm feeling fucked up. I know he doesn't deserve me. I know I shouldn't love him. I know I shouldn't cry myself to sleep on Saturday nights. But I still do.

I am woman, hear me roar.

Lynn's Law: Beware of the Creep.